Crossing Out Demons (RP Log)
- Commander's Office [Deep Space 9]
- Positioned just off the station's operation center, this office provides the station's commanding officer a retreat from the hustle and bustle of the command center outside. The office is dominated by a Cardassian-styled desk. Two low-backed chairs are positioned just inside the room facing the desk, while a high-backed black leather executive chair is behind the desk for the office's occupant. Two control plexes with a traditional Cardassian configuration are built into the desk for use by the station's commander, and a Starfleet computer monitor is atop the desk. A large, oblong hexagonal viewport is built into the bulkhead immediately behind the desk, providing a captivating view of the wormhole.
- Immediately to the right when entering the office, roughly parallel with the desk, is a small seating area with a black couch. A half-height book case across from the couch is empty.
Cross is working at his desk, which he seems more or less attached to lately. "Doctor Talbot," he greets.
Pryus-Talbot smiles faintly as she steps inside and toward the Captain, "Good morning Captain, and thank you for passing on my concerns regarding the Asia show. I didn't want to commit to something without the correct clearance, especially when no formal statement has been released." She says quietly.
"I understand your concerns and I appreciate that you asked without just jumping in," the Captain states. "Is it something you actually /want/ to do? Talk with the media about your feelings?"
Pryus-Talbot looks towards the floor, "My feelings are that the body lies in the morgue is my husband but the man who caused this to happen was not." She states, "I am still pained by the losses I have faced but I carry on in their honour and memory."
"That's.... fine," Cross says, trying to be both sympathetic and the voice of reason, "but do you think talking to the media about it will help anything?"
Pryus-Talbot shakes her head, "Probably not, I would still like to issue a basic statement. Regarding the issues and I would still like to hold a memorial ... even if he did infuriate half the crew ..."
Cross says, "I was down looking at the Starfleet Shuttlebay the other day, thinking it might be a good place to hold a memorial if you anticipate a large turn-out."
Pryus-Talbot shakes her head and sighs softly, "I doubt there will be a large turnout Captain."
Cross says, "Was there a place on the station that was special to him?"
Pryus-Talbot shrugs her shoulders slightly, "Morn's perhaps? I don't really know, he wasn't really himself."
Cross nods, "I could probably talk to them and see if we can have the top section of the restaurant."
Pryus-Talbot nods gently, "Thank you, I would appreciate it. Would you be able say something? I would like Essa to attend but he's yet to respond." She runs a hand over her tied back hair to smooth it out, "I didn't think it would be like this, I didn't think I would be able to laugh and smile. It makes me feel a little guilty." She admits with a slight frown.
Cross swallows hard as he watches the woman. He lets an extended silence fill the room before he says, "You should not feel guilty for living, Doctor."
Pryus-Talbot pinches her lips slightly with another nod, "I know, I am trying not to feel guilty. Sometimes it just hits me that he's gone. I'm sorry Capt- Adam, I don't mean to make this any harder on you." She moves closer to the desk resting her hand on the back of the chair.
"You don't have to apologize to me, Kailyn," the man replies. "Really. It's not necessary."
Pryus-Talbot pauses and takes in her lower lip, biting it a moment, "Have you even spoken to Aly since it happened? I don't mean just idle chat ..."
Cross quirks a brow, "I hardly think this is the time for such questions, Doctor."
Pryus-Talbot raises her brows in return, "Really? Because I think this is just the time for something like this, I'm your counsellor. You appointed me, so I'm trying to do my job." She points out slightly frustratedly but calmly none the less, they were both hurt but to what extent she wasn't sure. "We need to work through his together, you might not like it but you’re my responsibility too. I've seen what happens around here whilst I was wallowing in my self-pity, I'm not blind to it."
"I appointed you because I thought it would be therapeutic for you, not because I actually need to be fixed, Doctor," Cross says irritatedly. "If you want to talk to about Ben, ask me questions. I'm all open for study, but leave my wife out of this."
Pryus-Talbot narrows her eyes at him slightly, "We both need to be fixed." A beat, "When was the last time you spoke to anyone in that matter? You're elusive marriage is your own business, I asked when you spoke to her about what happened not when you last had bedroom talk. I'm here to do my job, if you don't want that then I'll pack up and move on out Captain."
"We haven't spoken about it," Cross replies in the same blunt tone, his knuckles white against the chair's arm rests. "Things are tense between us because I turned back to alcohol after I killed him and I pushed her away."
Pryus-Talbot moves around the desk and beside him, within arms reach but not too close. She perches on the corner of the desk, "It hurts to admit that doesn't it." She states, "I hit that bottle so hard I wish it had killed me, I just wanted to numb it all."
Cross stands up explosively and moves over to the window. He'd yell at her that she didn't have any idea what she was talking about it if it wasn't true. It was true, so he just stood there for a long, quiet moment, biting the inside of his lip so hard it actually started to bleed. "I promised her a long time ago that I wouldn't do that again," he finally says. "She saved me from it once."
Pryus-Talbot closed her eyes a moment, "Stop biting it." She almost commanded, "I might carry a dermal regenerator but you need to stop holding it in to me." A beat, "Has she ever felt the pain like you or I? I doubt it." She pauses as she moves from the desk to beside him, her hand moves to his shoulder.
Cross doesn't even know what to say to the question and he wonders if he even needs to answer it. Her hand on his shoulder makes him want to pull away, but he wills himself not to. "I'm so mad," he says in barely a whisper. "I don't even know who I'm mad at, so I just take it out on myself."
"I know, if he wasn't already dead I'm sure I'd beat him half to death." Kailyn answers, "I know you'll hate most of what I have to say but that means that you know it’s right. The afternoon you cam and saw me ... I- I wanted to take you down on the spot." She admits, "I wanted to hurt you so much, I wanted to give it all up to make the hurt go away."
"I wish you would have," Cross replies simply.
Pryus-Talbot smirks a little, "I don't think I could of bore a child from a cell." She replies light heartedly moving her hand from his shoulder down his arm. "We'd have both have been bloodied and the pain would have still been there only with more consequences. We will work through this, you don't need to be saved. You will save yourself."
"I don't think I'm strong enough," Adam admits, yanking his shoulder away from her as he turns around and moves to the exit to leave.
Pryus-Talbot raises her brows, "So you're just going to walk away from me?" Her voice is challenging as she wets her lips.
Cross stops before he gets to the door, closes his eyes for a moment. "I have duties to perform. It's how I get through the day. One task at a time, not stopping to talk about every issue until it's wilted into nothingness."
Pryus-Talbot twitches her nose, "It's already wilted and dead. You made sure of that one." She retrieves a dermal regenerator from her medical kit and moves toward him again, "I'm not filling reports on these sessions but I won't hesitate to make it known if I think you're not fit for duty. Open your mouth." She stops in front of him.
It wouldn't take a Betazoid to feel the anger rising in Cross' eyes. He opens his mouth as directed, but he's not happy about it. Although it's not in any of Cross' files, his battle with substance abuse-- both alcohol and other things is notable and perhaps even detectable to the doctor when she touches his lip. He wants nothing more than to avoid his issues and disappear back into that world.
Pryus-Talbot rests her thumb carefully against his lower lip and pulls it down slightly allowing her to heal the wound. Her touch is delicate, she'd not touched anyone’s lips for several months. The anger she had received had quickly dissipated, she had already dealt with it before several times over. She looks him in the eye, unmoving as she lowers the regenerator and removes her hand from his face. "Whenever I look at you I see him. All the things I'll never say again. 'I love you'." She says, "You're not running from that, you can't bury that because you made me stay here. You are the reason I am still here, you can't hide from that now."
Her words hit him harder than a slap ever could. It's true, he was more like Ben that he would ever admit. He could see himself slipping down some dark path when no one was watching, doing something stupid for no good reason. He hated himself for that, but it also eased his anger toward Ben and gave him a little more insight. "Why are you doing this?" Adam asks.
"It’s my job to do this, say all the things you don't want to here. I still have a wife, you must have married her for a reason." It pained her to will him on, "If you still love her you can't push her away or be taken away." Kailyn swallowed hard and held her breath a moment.
Cross is still uncomfortable discussing his marriage, but lets the doctor say what she has to. He nods fractionally. "I understand."
Pryus-Talbot moves in against Adam tentively and graces his lips with a soft kiss if not pushed aside.
Well that was not expected. Cross isn't sure what he's supposed to do so he just stands there for a minute. "Right..." Pause. "Are we done for today?"
Pryus-Talbot takes a step back with an affirmative nod. "Yes, we are."
Cross nods stiffly, a bit confused about that last thing that happened, but not able to make out the words right now. "Okay. You're dismissed then." In his confusion he actually leaves the office for Operations. Timet to go busy oneself with the checking of a console or a report or anything that takes him out of this office.
The door leading to Operations Center slides open.
Cross leaves for Operations Center.