Guilt and Pain (RP Log)

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Roleplay Log
Characters:
Location:
12 Feb 2014
Quarters A101 [Deep Space 9]

Simple appointments dress these quarters, austere yet comfortable enough for a traveler's extended stay. The main room and living quarters is furnished with a sectional sofa of icy silver with a matching recliner, and a glass coffee table nestled within. To the right is a small eating alcove with table and chairs and a food replicator. In the back left corner is a work desk with a small computer terminal. To the left a door leads into the sleeping quarters where a comfortable queen-sized bed and sonic shower reside.'
Chime

Pryus-Talbot taps a control by Out and it opens.
The door leading to Out slides open.
Cross arrives from Habitat Ring - Section A1.
The door leading to Out slides closed.

The room is very dark and Kailyn is sitting in the corner of her sofa barely visible by the light of the star fields.

Captain Adam Cross steps slowly into the dimly lit room. "Doctor?" he asks softly. When he talks it is slowly and with some amount of emotion that he is trying to be strong and hide. "I'm so sorry for your loss," he whispers, knowing the words will be inadequate.

Wiping her eyes as new tears form she closes them tightly, "Who gave the order?" She asks simply, her quiet voice wavers as she draws a soft and painful breath. Her knees are pulled up to her chest as she watches Cross in the darkness.

If there were more light in the room, it would be immediately evident from the way the blood drains from Captain Cross' face, but since there is not, he can only close his eyes for a fleeting moment to collect himself and then say very clearly, "I was there. I gave the order." He braces himself for the worst response, but it's nothing that he hasn't already said to himself.

Quiet weeping erupts from the woman, as her breathing staggers a swell of emotion builds within her. She physically doesn't have the energy to move. A noise that can only be described as a groan of pain escapes her lips as her palms push against her eyes.

"You should know," Captain Cross presses on, "That I thought very highly of Ben. He came to me when my own wife was in danger and he did everything he could to help rescue her. It's a debt that I could never repay to him." Adam hesitates for a long, quiet moment, seemingly stuck on what to say next. "There is an inspector general investigational team on its way to the station. They could very well relieve me of command while they investigate. I promise you that if anyone, myself included, made any error in judgement, justice will be served."

Kailyn can't seem to comprehend his words, she didn't blame the Captain. "He had a neurological imbalance and declined treatment." She manages to croak between sniffs, "And I didn't act on it." She adds burying her head in her hands, the guilt overwhelmed her. Why didn't she say something?

Cross says, "There's one thing I know about Ben from having served on Enterprise with him," Cross says as a sort of comfort, "He was a very stubborn man. If he didn't want help, I don't know if there is any force in the universe that would have been successful with him."

She wipes her eyes on the edge of her blanket, trying to control her breathing. "Niian said everything was classified, that he fired on officers. Why would he do that?" Kailyn's voice steadies slightly as she tried to rationalise the actions of her husband that would result in his being beamed out into space. It was that which confused her most, why would you beam someone into space? Surely there where more suitable places he could have been contained that wouldn't have resulted in his death.

Cross shakes his head, "No, that's not exactly true. It /is/ classified right now, but you deserve to know." He steps further into the room. "I received a call from the Excalibur. They were looking for him because something happened that involved Ben. I couldn't locate him on the station. I finally found an unidentified, armed man in Ben's office and we sent security there. He had locked himself in, so I went down there as well."

"Computer, turn on lights. Setting, low." Kailyn commands so she can see the man who was talking to her, she squints and wipes her eyes again before lowering her hands and listens, "What involved Ben on the Excalibur?" She asks firmly as she leans back against the sofa looking pale, drawn and bleary eyed.

Cross says, "I'm not clear exactly what triggered it. He had beamed onto a ship called the Bountiful Chest and was somehow confronted by... the team from Excalibur. He tried to evade them and escaped. When I finally got down to his office, he had come out into the hallway, but he had a bomb and he wouldn't put it away."

Her head shakes gently, "This makes no sense. He had a bomb?" Kailyn repeats back trying to understand, "That doesn't sound like him at all." Her head falls against the back of the chair and she stares at the ceiling her hands running over her face. "Is that why you beamed him out into space?" She doesn't seem to compute on the impact of her words.

Cross nods a bit, "He was going to detonate it. I couldn't put the lives of the people on the station at risk."

Kailyn repeats her words again, "So you beamed him into space? You killed him without any further information or stunning him to detainment or anything else? You just beamed him into space?"

Cross says, "We couldn't risk hitting the explosive pack. I am so sorry, Doctor. If there was something else I could have done, I would have..."

Her eyes fall on Cross, filling with tears again. Kailyn's stomach churned but she tried to fight the qwell, "I makes sense but it doesn't hurt any less." She replies a lot quieter than before before tipping her head back and covering her face. Why would he do all of this?

"I know it hurts," Cross says gently. "If I could have---" he can't even continue trying to justify it. He just sighs and shakes his head. "I am so, so sorry, Kailyn."

Kailyn exhales through her hands and shakes her head, "Please just stop, nothing is going to change the fact he's gone. I just need to unravel this and find out why, something was wrong, very wrong." She blurts out frustratedly possibly talking to herself.

Door chimes

She sighs softly at the door chime.

Cross just sits quietly. "Would you like me to tell them to leave?"

Looks to Cross tiredly, "It depends on who it is and their reason for wanting me really." She pauses, "I can't deal with social visits right now." She closes her eyes again trying to compose herself.

Cross nods and gets up, goes over to the door and exits to talk to whoever is out there.

The door leading to Out slides open.
Cross leaves for Habitat Ring - Section A1.

The door leading to Out slides open.
Cross arrives from Habitat Ring - Section A1.
The door leading to Out slides closed.

Cross re-enters the quarters carrying a cat. "I told the young caitain who brought this that you were not accepting visitors, but he seemed to insist that you would make an exception for this guy."

Kailyn nods gently as Cait jumps down from Cross and trots across the carpet leaping onto her lap and purring against her. "S'hado," She says quietly pulling the cat toward her and scratching the top of his head.

Cross says, "I'll leave you, but if you need anything at all..."

Kailyn pulls the cat close to her, "I want to conduct my own investigation into why he did this." She answers clearly.

Cross seems surprised by this. "I'm sorry, what?"

The woman wipes her eyes again and takes a long deep breath, "Whoever that was, you beamed out into space it was physically my husband and I hate you for that. I am not going to lie, with every pieces of my body I want to hurt you," She takes another breath and tries to remain calm, "That was not my husband, my husband doesn't threaten the lives of innocent people when hours before he said he didn't want me here because it was too dangerous. Why would he then put me at risk?" She explains almost questioning her own reasoning, it was so out of character it didn't make sense to her. There were so many questions left unanswered. "I'll resign my commission if I have to."

Cross shakes his head and offers quietly, "If I can make a suggestion.. let the Inspector General do their job and if there are still questions, then I will fully support a new, independent inquiry."

Her eyes close and she reluctantly nods. "Fine. I would like to request bereavement leave until it has been completed." Kailyn looks at him again coldly.

Cross nods, "Absolutely. Take as much time as you need."

"I will also require counselling." Kailyn admits against her will.

Cross says, "I was going to make that suggestion, but I thought I would wait a few days. Major Ava is available to you. If you were prefer someone from off the station, I can probably borrow Doctor Lokoi from Excalibur."

The woman nods, "I would prefer ... It doesn't matter. I'll submit a request via Senka." She pauses and pinches her brow still trying to deal with the information she had now been given.

Cross nods. "If you need /anything/ else..." he starts to back away to the door.

Kailyn nods and looks back to the cat in her lap giving it a soft stroke.

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